Twenty-five half full glasses of Red Bull lined up across the bar with a shot of Jeggar carefully balanced between each one.  A gentle nudge on the first shot glass starts a cascading chain reaction as they all bomb into the Red Bull falling like dominos.  A loud roar fills the room and we all raise our Jagger-Bombs to the sky in celebration of our 3 day dive of the Great Barrier Reef.  Officially the drunken fun begins as the inhibitions drop to the floor like a towel falling off your body before your step into the shower, turning the innocent flirting into overt sexual innuendo.  

I`m interested but not directly attracted to anyone; ok that`s a lie there was one female that sparked my interest.  The energy was strong and shared but the expression of which remained unrealized; and there is no doubt it is as it should be.  So I decided to get silly with my dive buddy Amy.  Amy is a fun, pretty and super cool girl from Las Vegas that knows how to have a good time.  There is no sexual energy between us; so it made it easy to hangout like two old friends drinking, talking story and generally being ridiculous; she is a master of the ludicrous.  We move on to the next bar, where the music’s blasting and the game steps up another notch.

Amy starts flirting with a group of guys as I grab a drink and head to the dance floor with the rest of the group.  Next thing I know a 22 year old Canadian girl, from the group, backs into me and it is obvious she is ready to go.  While she`s cute, fun and down I`m not feeling it.  I think to myself that I haven’t been with a girl for 2 months so how picky can I be, I mean beggars can`t be choosers…right?  So I make a half hearted attempt to embrace her energy and get into the flow…it`s not happening and she knows it.  I literally decide in that moment that sex is not enough, there is got to be something else, a genuine connecting energy for me to close the deal; what`s happening to me?  It `s like the old days when intimacy and energy were the goal…or maybe she just wasn`t hot enough; my standards are quite high!  Anyway she gets over my half-assed engagement and heads off to the rest of her life with her friend.  It`s 2am by now and after 3 days and 11 dives I’m hungry and tired; I recruit Amy and her friend to go in search of food.

The three of us end up at a Kebab stand on the main drag in Cairns drunk and silly.  The “Granny”—that was herself proclaimed title—takes our order as we sit down in anticipation of our Kebab.  Amy is on fire and proceeds to spin a yarn about the three of us being lovers on a brief stop before our evening of sexual adventure.  The 8 or so people, that are also waiting for their late night drunk meal, play along; they`re still probably not sure if we were full of shit or if we`re an actual three-some.  Granny decides to get in on the action and proceeds to `mount` me as she drops her dentures out of her mouth for an unforgettable photo.  I can`t stop laughing as I try to eat my Kebab, almost chocking on my first bit, while Granny jumps on me again…maybe I should have gone home with the Canadian.   Anyway as quickly as the mayhem began it ended and the three of us walked back to our respective hostels. To think I barely got up from my late afternoon nap to go out for the night.